A Fine Balance

We had our 15th month appointment today.  Big news!!  Ben FINALLY hit the growth charts!!  He is in the one percentile for weight and the fourth percentile for height!  Slowly but surely he is catching up.

Height:29 inches

Weight: 17lbs

Ben is now exclusively drinking Pediasure for nutrition.  He may be on this for a while as he needs to be solidly on the weight chart before we will taper off of this and go to table food for primary nutrition. The pediatrician said she can easily see him still taking the bottle of Pediasure until past his second birthday so we will be washing bottles for the foreseeable future.  Ben does eat regular food as well,  just not that much of it.  His favorites: cheese, cat cookies (animal crackers) from Trader Joes, Ice cream and mac & cheese.  He usually takes about 7-8 bites before he is done.  It’s not a ton but its a start.

Ben had four shots today including the regular flu vaccine.  H1N1 is still near impossible to come by even one dose, let alone the two babies need.  I will start calling the pediatrician daily to see when doses come in but there is a good chance Ben will go unvaccinated for that this year.   Ben was a trooper and  cried briefly during the shots but has been in a bit of a funk for the rest of the afternoon.  He was just cranky and generally unhappy which doesn’t happen often.  I’m hoping he can sleep it off and be his usual happy self in the morning.

I feel like our life is a lot of back and forth now.  Josh is permanently back in New York City so we have tried to come down when we can.  It tough though because nothing feels like home to us.  We are visitors whether we are in my mom’s house or Josh’s.  I can’t count the number of times I have said, “oh, I have one of those…it’s in storage”.  I’ve gotten to the point where I realize that most people probably only need 10% of the things they have, because that’s what Ben and I have been living with since we left Jersey City last February.

I am back in NYC again today, I have a second round job interview tomorrow.  It is scary because second round is the closest I have come to being employed again in the last 11 months.  Josh pointed out to me last week, I haven’t gone into an office regularly since before Ben was born.  Almost 16 months.  For me, a worker bee, this is a big deal.  It may not be what people strive for, but I defined myself by my job and I feel like I have been lost for the last year.  I don’t know that this interview will turn into an offer, but it’s one step closer to Ben and I finally having a home again.  With all of our things.  It will be nice.  It won’t be the end of going back and forth between Boston and NYC, that will go on for as long as Josh is in one place and my mom is in the other, but it does mean some semblance of beginning to rebuild our lives.

We were completely thrown off yesterday.  Ben and I arrived home from NYC at about 1am.  We did the never ending walk from the car which no child could possibly expect to remain asleep for.  First,the cold air shocks you awake from you cozy car seat.  Next, the buzzer to get into the building is  super loud.  Then, the lights are bright in the hallway to the elevator  The elevator is loud…more bright lights and finally…home.  Ugh.  So anyway, at 1am, Ben is wide awake.  Usually he goes right back down into his crib and that is it for the night.  This time, 10 minutes after hitting the crib, shrieks of terror started.  I ran to get him and realized he had no idea where he was and was genuinely terrified.  I tried everything I could, walking, bouncing, pacifiers…ect.  He was so upset he was throwing his pacifier (which if you know Ben, is a HUGE deal) and refusing to even let me sit down.  Eventually, after oh, an hour or so, he started to exhaust himself but every attempt back in his crib brought a new round of shrieks.  He ended up in my bed.  Great for Ben, not so great for me.  He insists on laying diagonal and kicking me in the ribs throughout the night.  It’s just like being pregnant again but with more force behind it!  I didn’t sleep much, he didn’t really either and thus yesterday became a long wait until bed time came again!  I am happy to report that on night #2, Ben slept in his own bed just fine.

We are back in NYC (leaving tonight) and in just two weeks the walking has taken off.  It is unbelievable how fast they pick these skills up.  We have been hitting Madison Square Park daily to run laps around the playground equipment.  Not only does it help to get us out of the apartment everyday, but it burns energy which can only encourage naps.

Speaking of naps, Ben has decided he isn’t down with them anymore.  So, we get one nap a day.  Most other moms who only get one nap a day get a solid three hour nap mid-afternoon.  Me?  I get one approximately 30 minutes after he has woken up for the day which means he is awake from oh, 11am UNTIL BEDTIME.  Going back to work has never looked so attractive to me.

So, I’ve been informed that I need to step it up with where I keep the blog.  This should make it much easier for me to post so we will see…working on bringing all the old stuff over here but it may take me a bit.