A Fine Balance

It is an interesting phenomenon how many people use to ask me if we were having a second child. I...

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 20:08:23 -0500

It is an interesting phenomenon how many people use to ask me if we were having a second child. I don’t mean friends in the course of conversations about life. No, I mean people I barely considered acquaintances. I always used to think to myself, what if we had been trying for the last four years and it just wasn’t happening for us? Wouldn’t that be such an uncomfortable answer? And if that were the case, what if I wasn’t sharing that so instead I had to make up some excuse for why we were putting it off. I know people don’t mean to be intrusive, but inquiring about family planning by nature ends up being intrusive. I can only imagine what people who just don’t want kids go through.

For us, having another child was wrapped in so much emotion. We don’t have the luxury of looking back on pregnancy with happy thoughts. The outcome was happy, but getting there? Not so much.

Now that I am 22 weeks into this second pregnancy, I find I’m still holding my breathe every doctors appointment I go to. 22 weeks is when we found out that Ben wasn’t growing. We didn’t yet know why, but we knew something was wrong. Tomorrow I go for an anatomy scan that will tell us if this baby is growing at the rate expected. We already had one at 18 weeks and everything looked normal but that doesn’t mean I won’t still be anxious until I hear the results.

The NYC Marathon WON'T go on

Sat, 03 Nov 2012 08:01:03 -0400

As it seems the entire world now knows, the 2012 New York City Marathon has been canceled.

After living through what has been described as the largest hurricane hurricane ever to form in the Atlantic and most certainly the most devastating in my lifetime, I completely understand an agree with this decision. What I don’t understand is the timing.

Earlier in the week, while we were sitting in our house with no power or water and many friends were sitting in downtown manhattan in the same conditions, I couldn’t comprehend that this marathon would go on. But with every Bloomberg speech, it seemed as if nothing could stop it. I discussed it endlessly with fellow runners. I was shocked at how strongly some felt that their training was more important that those whose lives were affected (including mine!) by this storm. My office is downtown, thus closed for the week, so I also had an entire week of time to obsess. I guess that’s what happens when you have no television to watch!

With the insistence of Bloomberg and NYRR I felt I didn’t have much of a choice. If the race happened, I had to run. Even though actual training was only five months, the program that allowed me to run this year involved running nine races last year. So all told, this has been two years in the making for me. That is half of Bens life. Half of his life I am gone one weekend morning for training and races. I have missed soccer lessons and breakfast at the diner. Things I want to be at, things I didn’t want to miss. These past five months have involved long runs that take hours and hours. Again, none of this is more important that what has gone on this past week but just so you understand, it’s more than “just a race”. It was a life event for me, a bucket list accomplishment.

This week has been such an up and down. I wanted the race canceled from the beginning so we could all focus on what was important. But it wasn’t canceled, it wasn’t even left up in the air. It was definitely on. I have been trying to get into the right mindset. A marathon is mental more than physical in the end. Trying to figure out logistics as we still have no power. Telling people that were coming to cheer me on that because we has no place to house them with no power, not to come. I can’t imagine what it was like for runners flying in with the airports closed. Changing reservations to try and find a way here.

To run, you have to pick your number up in person. The expo takes place in Manhattan in the three days leading up to the race. Manhattan has been gridlocked with cars since the subways ad trains haven’t been running normally. They instituted check points that mandated three people in a car to get into manhattan. All runners not already in the city had to figure out how to do this, all the while trying not to feel guilty that we were clearly straining the city. Stories of evacuees being displaced from hotel rooms to accommodate runners started.

I went to the expo yesterday. It was amazing. Runners from all over the world there to run a race they had been promised would go on. People were so excited and I tried to feed off their energy. If we were do this I was going to take in the experience and be excited!

And then, 36 hours before the race, after people had already strained the roads going to the expo, added to the gas shortage, evacuees had been kicked out of their hotels rooms, THEN they canceled the race.

I used to be a huge NYRR supporter. I used to defend them when people said they were greedy and races cost too much and they didn’t care about local runners. I would say nobody is forcing you to run their races. I am just disappointed in both them and Bloomberg. The fact they even allowed this to be a controversy, allowed all these runners to fly here, allowed this to go on as long as it did, it all disappoints me. This race should have been canceled on Tuesday.

I’m sad I won’t run, but now wasn’t the right time. I’m not sure I will run next year, I am run down from training and don’t know if I want to devote another five months of my life to this. I’m looking forward to spending weekend mornings with Ben after quick 5 milers and just trying to put this whole week o stress behind me.

School Days

Mon, 10 Sep 2012 10:18:54 -0400

We have had a lot going on in the past few months, but I think we are finally starting to get the Ben school routine down. Ben started his new school two weeks ago and I think that we are going to be much happier here. His last school was chaotic and stressful even for me and I was there 5 minutes a day. We are dealing with some aggressive behaviors, pushing, hitting ect but Ben has had a lot of change in his life over the past six months and I think some of that just comes with the changes. Ben is also smaller than most kids in his class and his teachers think on some level, that is they way he gets heard. I’m still hoping we can channel that into less aggression but I know this will be a gradual process. For now though, I bring Ben to school in the mornings and Josh had been taking the afternoons. I am lucky enough to work from home two days a week and that allows me to get Ben to his therapies at the local school on those days. We are down to just an hour and a half of services a week which is remarkable.

As summer eases into fall, I know this is when every starts to post first day of school pictures. Since school for us is year round, we never took the picture so instead I’ll leave you with a picture of Ben and the first friend he made back in Massachusetts, Jake who we still try and see every time we are home.

Ben and my “mid-Crossfit workout” pose. We even...

Tue, 14 Aug 2012 09:37:23 -0400

Ben and my “mid-Crossfit workout” pose. We even made the website! Crossfit Stamford

Happy 4th Birthday Benj!

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 12:56:51 -0400

Happy 4th Birthday Benj!

We tease Christina that she is the third person in our...

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 07:51:48 -0400

We tease Christina that she is the third person in our relationship but the reality is I don’t know what I would do without her. Not only is she a strong,independent woman who can equally deal with exploding septic systems and errant mice in the kitchen, but she always has a smile on her face and can see the humor in any situation. She is my constant cheerleader both when we go running and when we are Crossfitting and it is so reassuring to know that i have a buddy in both pursuits She also is an amazing IM buddy Christina loves Ben almost as much as I do and it shows. Ben lists “Chris” third when we go over the people who love him. The past two years haven’t been the easiest for her but I know there are brighter skies ahead this year.

Happy happy birthday Chrissy. We love you!

Love, your second family

Ben, Josh and I just got back from a week in Sea Island with two...

Fri, 25 May 2012 18:06:44 -0400

Ben, Josh and I just got back from a week in Sea Island with two of my best friends. It was relaxing and beautiful as always. Here is to another 14 years of friendship girls!

When it rains...

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0400

So, for a super quick recap in how my life can go disastrously wrong in just a few short weeks:

1. My father decided to move back to Florida. Unexpectedly. With no warning. Like, I’m moving!-and one short hour later he was gone. Fabulous. Oh, and he isn’t speaking to us anymore. Why? Nobody is clear on that one…

2. I now have a very empty, very expensive renovated basement apartment if anybody is the market in Stamford CT. Yes, the basement renovation is complete! Unfortunately, that means we paid for the basement renovation…that we now do not need.

3. I do not have a very empty dining room. Nope, I have the contents of someones entire studio apartment (not mine!) including couches, dressers, desks ect in my dining room. The neighbors asked if we had moved in yet because in their snooping through the windows, it appears we have a million boxes. Which we do.

4. I got into a car accident. We are all fine! But the car definitely needs a new bumper. And the best part? It was a hit and run. So we will have to pay our deductible in order to get that new bumper. Did I mention we just finished construction on our VERY EXPENSIVE BASEMENT?

5. We have termites!! Or at least we think we do. We found 300 of them swarming our boiler. Maybe they are just flying ants? Oh the joys of home ownership. We have 3 people coming out to give me their professional opinions ASAP.

I am super excited to see what fun this week brings!

Ben standing in front of his newly installed closet. Also shows...

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:02:06 -0500

Ben standing in front of his newly installed closet. Also shows the color we painted his room.

House check in-month one

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 23:54:26 -0500

We are all battling the flu in the house. Josh took his first sick day in maybe…ever? He is a big believer in powering through. The last time Josh & I were this sick was pre-Ben when we were living in Boston right after we had both started the South Beach Diet. Apparently carbs also help you overcome the flu because without them, it lasted two weeks. The only highlight of that illness was it became the skinniest either of us had been in YEARS. Let’s just say it is still our bench mark.

Unfortunately, we will not re-achieve that low this time around which really just makes this flu a waste.

In my lying on the couch contemplating death time I’ve had, I have been able to organize the house stuff a bit.

Things accomplished in the past month of weekend warrior home ownership (we don’t actually move in until March):
-new mailbox installed
-keypad code changed on garage door (old owners didn’t bother to pass along the old code- thanks)
-installed all new locks on doors including door that was locked with no key!
-exterminator gives all clear on mice
-got our first oil delivery ($700 later-ugh)
-painted bens room
-painted all closets
-painted guest bathroom
-installed three (3!!?!) Elfa closets including one walk-in that should count as three by itself
-picked paint for master bath and two other bedrooms
-survived a snow storm with no snowblower
-put together one ikea bedside table and about 10 lamps
-picked a living room rug
-picked a contractor!!

Things we still need to do in the next month:
-pick final bedroom paint color
-paint 3 bedrooms and a bathroom
-move the rest of our boxes/furniture
-buy a snowblower
-order cabinets for in-law suite
-install towel bars in all bathrooms
-change hardware in master bathroom

Things we realized we can’t do and need to hire someone:
-install light in the foyer
-install new fan in guest bath

Soooo. I think it’s coming along. The painting may kill me though I’d this flu doesn’t.

Arrived at the new house for day one of get stuff done. And… no power. The earliest the...

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 16:16:52 -0500

Arrived at the new house for day one of get stuff done. And… no power. The earliest the electric company would let me switch over (when I called on Thursday) was next Monday. They neglected to mention they were turning the power off prior. Whoops!

So, we are officially home owners! Crazy right? Closing went smoothly, we dropped off some things...

Fri, 16 Dec 2011 13:12:19 -0500

So, we are officially home owners! Crazy right?

Closing went smoothly, we dropped off some things at the house then headed back into the city. Our lease isn’t up until March so we will go back and forth for a while. I want to get pre-school as worked out as possible in Stamford before we make the move. In the meantime, we have lots of projects we need to tackle.

First, we need to change all the lock in the house. Better to be safe then sorry right? One back door is locked but apparently nobody has the key. My suggestion was to call a locksmith but Josh plans on tackling by removing the door from its hinges. In my mind it could either be A) super easy or B) A giant disaster. I’ll let you know how that works out.

Here is our beginning list of things to do that I’m sure will continue to grow:

1. Change locks

2. Hang chandelier in dining room

3. Remove chair rail in former dining room (soon to become playroom) so we can anchor toy storage to the wall

4. Touch up wall left naked by chair rail

5. Hang new entry light

6. Change master bathroom hardware in tub (temperature control & faucet)

7. Paint upstairs bedrooms (need to pick out paint color first!)

8. Figure out closet systems for upstairs bedrooms

9. Replace mailbox

We also are bringing in contractors to start to work on our larger projects which include transforming the finished basement into an in-law apartment for my dad. This poses a challenge as we need to create a kitchen and bathroom in the space. There also is no natural separate entrance except for coming through the garage. I’m hoping to solve this somehow. In creating the in-law, we will also be creating a mud room from the garage entry. We plan on relocating out laundry area to the mudroom (it is currently in a closet in the kitchen) so that my father can easily use it as well. We also will need a new roof but that will most likely have to wait until spring as we are starting to hit colder weather here.

I’m both excited for and dreading the whole contractor experience but have been trying to psych myself up by watching TONS of HGTV.

awolbrom: NYC shout out to premature babies everywhere! For...

Thu, 17 Nov 2011 19:38:33 -0500

awolbrom:

NYC shout out to premature babies everywhere!

For Benj. NYC honors Prematurity Awareness Day.

In less than a month, this will be our new house! We are moving...

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 13:01:04 -0500

The House!

Kitchen with an island

Master bath

Formal dining room--lamp does not stay.

Formal Living room-will be an office

Family room view 1

Family Room view 2

One of 4 upstairs Bedrooms

5th bedroom off kitchen-will be playroom

Finished basement-will turn into in-law

In less than a month, this will be our new house! We are moving to Stamford CT when our lease is up in March. The time had come to get some more space, put down some roots, and save some money. Buying a house will help us accomplish all of this.

We searched and searched in what may be a buyers markets, but apparently not in Stamford. There was a ton on the market, but most of it was either overpriced or involved more work than we were interested in. When we found this house, we jumped. They had a second offer in hand so we were lucky we had immediately put in an offer. We haggled over concessions for the past few weeks but have settled everything and are confident this will be our new home! We also are paying over $100k less than these owners for the house just two years ago so we feel like we are getting a good deal.

It has five bedrooms, an eat in kitchen, a formal living and dining room and a two car garage. One bedroom will become a playroom, and the formal living room will become an office. Frankly, it’s more space that we had ever dreamed we would get so it will take some time to get used to.

The back yard is essentially woods except for a very large deck, but it is a quiet street with no through traffic so we feel confident Ben will have plenty of front yard/driveway to play in.

We are also turning the finished basement into an in law apartment so my dad will no longer have a commute to watch Ben!

Ben & Josh getting in touch with nature

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 12:58:11 -0400

Ben & Josh getting in touch with nature

Eye Surgery? Check

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 13:22:24 -0400

Ben was scheduled for his eye surgery yesterday after a week delay. Josh had wanted to speak with the doctor to clarify a few points prior to us moving forward. He did that early this week and that set us up for a go yesterday. We had to be at NYU hospital at 915a for a 1015a surgery. Ben couldn’t eat anything in preparation and while he is now old enough to have this concept explained, he still asked for breakfast oh…15 times.

We arrived at the hospital after two subways and one taxi ride. The Upper West Side to Midtown East in the middle of rush hour is always a fun commute. We checked in on the day patient floor and were promptly moved to the playroom to wait. We were the only patients in there at the time so we had full attention from the Child Life specialist. She talked us through everything that would happen that day, step by step, then played and colored with Ben. Ben thought this was fantastic.

Our doctor came in and explained a change of plans. While it is Ben’s right eye that is affected by Duane’s, the doctor wanted to operate on the left eye because it would help align the eyes better based on Ben’s unique issue. We had to modify the consent form but we agreed with the logic and felt confident in his decision.

Next up was a weight check (almost 27lbs!) and then we went into another room. Here Ben changed into his gown and also took medicine to “relax him”. Relax is apparently code word for making him act high. They explain it to you by saying he will seem a little drunk, but it was definitely more high than drunk. Example: he kept pitching his head forward to stare at his belly button and then proceeded to laugh hysterically. 10 times in a row. Josh and I were in tears watching him.

At about 1130a (yes, an hour and 15 minutes behind) I walked with Ben into surgery, watched as he was put under and then retreated to the waiting room. About a half hour after that the doctor was out and said surgery was successful! We then moved back into recovery and waited for Ben to wake up which he did thirty minutes or so later. Little kids tend to come out of anesthesia somewhat violently and we knew to expect this from when he had tubes put in his ear. Nevertheless, it’s still hard to watch your child cry and flail. He really wasn’t adjusting or snapping out of it so after a few minutes they gave him Fentanyl which is similar to Morphine and back to sleep he went. On my lap. For three hours. Yup! You see, the nurses moved the bed right out of the recovery area after he first woke and put him in my lap. They didn’t expect him to sleep another three hours but it isn’t uncommon. So there I was with a sleeping toddler -who I most certainly was not going to do anything to wake-trapped. Josh offered to trade at one point but I didn’t even want to move Ben that much. Regardless, I survived and the next time Ben woke up he was a much happier monkey.

Ben’s eye is super blood shot now but he doesn’t have anything special on it. We are putting ointment on every night after he falls asleep and that is really it. We follow up with the doctor in two weeks but hopefully this is the close of another chapter in our ongoing quest to have a procedure done at, or a specialist from every hospital in the Boston AND NYC metro areas!

Duanes Syndrome

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 12:47:55 -0400

I thought I had blogged about this before, but in looking back at old posts, realized I didn’t. Ben was diagnosed with Duanes Syndrome a while back. Duanes Syndrome is different for different people but for Ben, it means his right eye cannot turn inward past a certain point. It doesn’t affect his vision at all, but just makes it harder for him to center his eyes together on a focal point. To compensate for this, he turns his head slightly. Check out old pictures, you will notice he never looks at the camera head on.

Duanes Syndrome (according to Wikipedia, my go to source for everything) is a rare congenital eye movement disorder. It is the first thing in Ben’s world that has nothing to do with prematurity. Nope, this one is a birth defect! A missing sixth cranial nerve. As birth defects go, I guess is isn’t so bad.

To truncate a very long story involving multiple doctors and second opinions, it looks like after watching this for six months, it is time to do surgery. I have it tentatively scheduled for next Thursday but I think I am going to push it back a week to allow Josh time to talk to the doctor and get some more clarification on the end results of surgery.

I did want to see if else had any experience with this syndrome? There isn’t a ton of information online which is why we are struggling with making a final surgery decision.

Ben at 3 years and 2 months Height: 36 inches Weight: 26lb 2oz

Tue, 20 Sep 2011 17:01:11 -0400

Ben at 3 years and 2 months
Height: 36 inches
Weight: 26lb 2oz

53.7 Miles = NYCM 2012!

Mon, 18 Jul 2011 13:09:55 -0400

Over the weekend I finished my final race to qualify for guaranteed entry into the 2012 NYC Marathon! To say I am excited would be an understatement. As I’ve talked about before, any New York Road Runner member who runs 9 qualifying races in the course of a year and volunteers once gets entry into the following year’s marathon.

I ran 53.7 miles in total to secure this entry. My pace ranged from 9:56 to 11:03 per mile. Here is the breakdown of the races that got me here:

1. Fred Lebow Classic -5 miles (January 8^th)

This is false actually. Because of an impending storm, the race was moved from a Saturday to a Sunday and unfortunately, Christina (my fellow 9+1’er) and I drank too much the night prior to actually run the race. No worries though because since the race was moved, it still counts as a qualifier. In my book though, that is lame so I will run an extra race (or 2!) this year so I qualify in my own book as well.

2. NYC Half Marathon- 13.1 miles (March 20^th)

Whoa. My first half marathon. I was severely undertrained yet ran because I there was such uproar over entry into this half. There was a lottery held as too many local runner wanted to run and I believe only 12% of local runners were accepted in the lottery. I was one of them and felt compelled to run. I am so happy I did as this race was awesome and really made me see how much I can accomplish when I put my mind to it.

3. Scotland Run-6.2 miles (April 10^th)

Kilts! Um. And Kilts! This race was hard for me. The 10k distance challenged me and I actually started walking towards the finish line until I dug deep and forced myself to run it in. This time of year should have provided me with a good finishing time but it was awful.

4. NYRR 4 Miler- 4 miles (April 23^rd)

No sponsor, nothing fancy, just 4 miles. This 4 miler reminded me how tough mile 3 is in the NYRR 4 mile course as I made my way through the rolling hills.

5. UAE Healthy Kidney 10k -6.2 miles (May 14^th)

This wins as my worst race of the year. Why can’t I run a decent 10k? I run the same loop of the park every time I run 6 miles so it’s not like there are any surprises. Seriously frustrating.

6. Celebrate Israel- 4 miles (June 5^th)

We celebrated that this was the fastest race finish of my season. This does not say much. It was run in a 9:56 pace. Um. Yeah. It actually says a lot.

7. NY Mini 10K -6.2 miles (June 11^th)

My favorite race of the season! All women and the first mile is run on Central Park West so finally get some time out of the park and amazing support from the running clubs for the entire race. Not that this made me run faster. It didn’t.

8. Gay Pride Run – 5 miles (June 25^th)

My second favorite race of the season although the switched up the course this year and added counter clockwise Harlem Hills. Sooooo, that was interesting for mile 1 & 2. Again, the argument could be made that THIS IS MY HOME COURSE. But, apparently I don’t run it enough to dominate it. Need to get on that.

9. Central Park Run for Conservatory – 4 Miles (July 16^th)

Finally, the last one. I ran it on a sprained ankle. It was glorious for the first two miles where I was on pace to blow my PR away my practically 2 minutes. But then the hills hit, my ankle reminded me it was injured, and I limped into a sad 10:05 pace finish for my second fastest race of the season. On a sprained ankle.

+1 Portugal Day Race (June 19^th)

Volunteering was awesome. I would recommend anybody do it just for the reminder of why you run.

My uncle just told me recently his fastest NYC Marathon finish was in just over 3 hours. Um. Really? I have a lot of work ahead of me for a respectable finish in my marathon. I love goals though and my current times do not speak to what I believe to be my ability. I want to get my races down to 9:30’s by the end of this year and start to chip away at the possibility of 9’s next year. I need to run a lot more than I am running now to do this but I’m okay with that. I’m starting to train now for two halfs in the fall (Staten Island and one up at home in Newburyport) so that in itself should start to get my mileage up. One foot in front of the other and soon I’ll get there!

Think I’m excited?

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 11:08:41 -0400

Think I’m excited?